Falling down

Not just the title of the song I’ve just listened to, but also a description of my state of mind. Well, actually that may be exaggerating just a bit – I’m not about to go into a Burger King, waving a gun and complain why the burger I got didn’t look like the one pictured, but I’m not my normal self either. Depressed?…dunno – a bit perhaps, but when it comes to programming I AM feeling a bit burned out. So, Am I really burned out on programming or am I just having a midlife crisis?

This is all very existential and I wish I had an answer to it. As for the ‘midlife crisis’ – I am having my 41st birthday today (see, notice I didn’t write ‘I’m celebrating my…‘? But, I don’t actually think it’s a ‘real’ midlife crisis (wouldn’t it make more sense if I’d had it a year ago then?) – why would I lose my ‘programming-mojo’ just because I’m having a birthday? – no, I’ve actually not felt like like doing anything much, programming wise, for the last month or so. Don’t know why but it’s probably more likely to be the stress of needing graphics for a game and not feeling like doing it, and then completely losing my drive all together because of it…I think (and to be quite honest there are a few other non-programming factors involved as well).

Basically it means that I won’t be able to finish my project for The RR CD50 Project by the end of june as planned. Unfortunately.
It’ll still get done though. Perhaps if there’s enough contributions to the project this one can get on CD2 but it won’t be finished in 3 weeks as planned.

For what it’s worth I can’t be completely burned out because I’ve actually started up 2 new projects up over the last couple of weeks (both are games that are pretty light on graphics) and these will be finished – just as my other projects, but I just don’t want the stress of absolutely having to finish something specific to meet any sort of deadline right now.

For now I just need to recharge my mental batteries and fool around with something fun for a while. More ‘news’ when I feel like it.

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